I don't trust myself to hold on properly through all my insecurity..
I don't know if I have been in love before.. It was never mutual whatever it was, it hurt me badly and I was only 20's.. A few years on and I'm almost certain I am falling in love with u.. It's ridiculous, I don't know u much at all, I don't know what it feels like to hold u or kiss u, but I want to.. More than anything else in the world.. I go to sleep thinking about u, I wake up thinking about u.. I have to stop myself filling all the spaces in between with thoughts of u too, because it cripples me that u probably don't feel anything even nearly the same for me..
Even though this is one of the most confidence shattering experiences of my life so far, I am so glad I met u.. It doesn't matter that I can't believe what u tell me, u have made me the happiest I can ever remember being, even if it was only for a few hours at a time.. U amaze me, truly.. U are so clever and insightful, regardless of how u feel about yourself.. I know u're insecure, but I think u are beautiful.. U are everything u should be, I wish u could believe me, like u want me to believe u..
I know I am clinging.. Clinging to something other people, even u, would probably perceive as nothing.. I have probably built this all up so far I can barely see what's actually happening anymore.. Maybe I'm simply infatuated by the idea of u, what u could mean to me.. Regardless, this is still how I feel, I am still intoxicated by u..